Using Negotiation Techniques from a World-Class FBI Hostage Negotiator in Discovery

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As an SC and part of the sales team, I often face challenges when engaging with my clients and prospects in their buying journey — especially during the never-ending discovery phase. Discovery is a critical process that helps the PreSales team: 

  • Explore solutions with clients
  • Build trusting relationships
  • Identify variables that help AEs forecast accuracy

Unfortunately, each missing element of a discovery puts your deal at risk. 

I recently read a very exciting book called: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depends on It, by Chris Voss. I picked this book from the PreSales Collective reading list and was very intrigued by its title. 

Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiations representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group. In 2008, he founded The Black Swan Group, which travels the globe to teach individuals, groups, and corporate teams how to listen and negotiate to achieve desirable outcomes.

In business we often deal with compromises in an attempt to move the needle in the right direction while staying in control. How can we use Voss’s negotiation tactics to guide our clients through discovery and along the desired path? 

Give Something to Get Something

This core principle of negotiation comes into play when we need to get buy-in from key stakeholders. We need a high level of commitment from our clients to properly execute and avoid wasted resources.

It could be for example:

  • Organizing a field workshop
  • Defining the requirement of a successful POC
  • Getting executives involved during an important meeting

The most important piece of advice that Voss gives is, “We don't need to perceive our counterpart in a conversation as our opponent, it is mostly the opposite: we have to see him/her as a partner with whom we need to find and secure an agreement that will be perceived as a win-win for both parties.”

A good relationship is based on trust, which is why we have to be seen as trusted advisors for our prospects and customers. Here’s how we can achieve that:

  • Credibility: Credibility is a crucial element in building trust, as it involves being seen as having expertise and knowledge in a particular area. It encompasses factors like honesty and transparency. 
  • Reliability: Reliability means you consistently deliver on your promises and commitments. Provide accurate and timely information, follow through on agreements, and be responsive to customer needs.
  • Intimacy: Intimacy as an SC means building a genuine connection and understanding. Taking the time to understand the customer’s unique needs, concerns, and preferences can create a sense of intimacy.

Once you gain trust, you and your customer can act as a partnership — with give and take on both sides.

7 Core Negotiation Principles for Discovery

The core principles that Voss offers will help to solidify a trusting relationship and are key to executing a good discovery:

1. Emotional Intelligence

Practice active listening and show empathy toward the client’s pain points and challenges. Understand and validate their feelings and concerns by actively engaging in the conversation.

2. Tactical Empathy

Put yourself in the customer’s shoes and offer your understanding about their pain points and how it impacts their goals. This will help to build trust and establish a two-way relationship.

3. Mirroring

Mirroring is the action of repetition by using the same words with a light, curious tone — which helps to get more information that a potential customer might be minimizing. Voss says, “Part of the messaging mirroring sends to the other person is, ‘I hear every word you said, and I’m proving it because I just repeated it bac to you.’” It will let the buyer know you want to create a sense of connection and rapport.

4. Labeling

Acknowledge a person’s concerns, challenges, and aspirations. Use labels to validate their feelings and show that you understand their perspective. For example, we can say, “It seems like you’re concerned about the lack of responsiveness of your team regarding market changes, which affects your time to market. Is that correct?”

5. Calibrated Questions

Ask open-ended questions like, “How does your current process impact your team’s ability to respond to demands in a timely manner?” This encourages the prospect to share more details about context and priorities, as well as their ability to meet SLAs.

6. Anchoring

Establish a reference point by highlighting the value and benefits of your solution early on in the conversation. This sets the tone for subsequent discussions and demonstrates your credibility quickly.

7. The Power of “No”

Use “no” strategically to gain more insights and push the customer to explore other perspectives — and help them feel more in control. With multiple “nos,” you can get a stronger “yes.” For example, ask, “Do you feel that you’re wasting your time identifying what’s blocking your teams from meeting their goals?” Chances are, the answer will be “no.” Follow up with, “If you want me to succeed in helping you and your team, is there any chance we can have two hours of your time to analyze your current processes?” I can assure you that you’ll get a resounding “yes!”

Assembling the Puzzle Pieces

Every discovery is unique, but they have some things in common:

  • Passion
  • Trust
  • Eagerness to resolve a complex situation

As you uncover more pieces of the customer’s puzzle, the full picture becomes clearer. And with a fuller picture, you can work together toward a common goal.

From my point of view, it’s not the destination that’s most important, but the journey you’re taking. As an SC I’ve learned much more from deals we lost due to unclear discovery than from deals we won with near-perfect execution. 

Try out these communication and negotiation techniques and let me know what you think. I wish you all a great disco!

Profile photo of Hakim BEN KHEMIS

About Hakim Ben Khemis

With more than 10 years experience in complex selling for the B2B SaaS market, Hakim has developed his expertise as a Solutions Consultant by providing valuable support and driving complex organizations forward through digital transformation. He works as a Senior Solutions Consultant within the FSI team at Pegasystems in France.

Unlock this content by joining the PreSales Collective with global community with 20,000+ professionals
Read this content here ↗

As an SC and part of the sales team, I often face challenges when engaging with my clients and prospects in their buying journey — especially during the never-ending discovery phase. Discovery is a critical process that helps the PreSales team: 

  • Explore solutions with clients
  • Build trusting relationships
  • Identify variables that help AEs forecast accuracy

Unfortunately, each missing element of a discovery puts your deal at risk. 

I recently read a very exciting book called: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depends on It, by Chris Voss. I picked this book from the PreSales Collective reading list and was very intrigued by its title. 

Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiations representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group. In 2008, he founded The Black Swan Group, which travels the globe to teach individuals, groups, and corporate teams how to listen and negotiate to achieve desirable outcomes.

In business we often deal with compromises in an attempt to move the needle in the right direction while staying in control. How can we use Voss’s negotiation tactics to guide our clients through discovery and along the desired path? 

Give Something to Get Something

This core principle of negotiation comes into play when we need to get buy-in from key stakeholders. We need a high level of commitment from our clients to properly execute and avoid wasted resources.

It could be for example:

  • Organizing a field workshop
  • Defining the requirement of a successful POC
  • Getting executives involved during an important meeting

The most important piece of advice that Voss gives is, “We don't need to perceive our counterpart in a conversation as our opponent, it is mostly the opposite: we have to see him/her as a partner with whom we need to find and secure an agreement that will be perceived as a win-win for both parties.”

A good relationship is based on trust, which is why we have to be seen as trusted advisors for our prospects and customers. Here’s how we can achieve that:

  • Credibility: Credibility is a crucial element in building trust, as it involves being seen as having expertise and knowledge in a particular area. It encompasses factors like honesty and transparency. 
  • Reliability: Reliability means you consistently deliver on your promises and commitments. Provide accurate and timely information, follow through on agreements, and be responsive to customer needs.
  • Intimacy: Intimacy as an SC means building a genuine connection and understanding. Taking the time to understand the customer’s unique needs, concerns, and preferences can create a sense of intimacy.

Once you gain trust, you and your customer can act as a partnership — with give and take on both sides.

7 Core Negotiation Principles for Discovery

The core principles that Voss offers will help to solidify a trusting relationship and are key to executing a good discovery:

1. Emotional Intelligence

Practice active listening and show empathy toward the client’s pain points and challenges. Understand and validate their feelings and concerns by actively engaging in the conversation.

2. Tactical Empathy

Put yourself in the customer’s shoes and offer your understanding about their pain points and how it impacts their goals. This will help to build trust and establish a two-way relationship.

3. Mirroring

Mirroring is the action of repetition by using the same words with a light, curious tone — which helps to get more information that a potential customer might be minimizing. Voss says, “Part of the messaging mirroring sends to the other person is, ‘I hear every word you said, and I’m proving it because I just repeated it bac to you.’” It will let the buyer know you want to create a sense of connection and rapport.

4. Labeling

Acknowledge a person’s concerns, challenges, and aspirations. Use labels to validate their feelings and show that you understand their perspective. For example, we can say, “It seems like you’re concerned about the lack of responsiveness of your team regarding market changes, which affects your time to market. Is that correct?”

5. Calibrated Questions

Ask open-ended questions like, “How does your current process impact your team’s ability to respond to demands in a timely manner?” This encourages the prospect to share more details about context and priorities, as well as their ability to meet SLAs.

6. Anchoring

Establish a reference point by highlighting the value and benefits of your solution early on in the conversation. This sets the tone for subsequent discussions and demonstrates your credibility quickly.

7. The Power of “No”

Use “no” strategically to gain more insights and push the customer to explore other perspectives — and help them feel more in control. With multiple “nos,” you can get a stronger “yes.” For example, ask, “Do you feel that you’re wasting your time identifying what’s blocking your teams from meeting their goals?” Chances are, the answer will be “no.” Follow up with, “If you want me to succeed in helping you and your team, is there any chance we can have two hours of your time to analyze your current processes?” I can assure you that you’ll get a resounding “yes!”

Assembling the Puzzle Pieces

Every discovery is unique, but they have some things in common:

  • Passion
  • Trust
  • Eagerness to resolve a complex situation

As you uncover more pieces of the customer’s puzzle, the full picture becomes clearer. And with a fuller picture, you can work together toward a common goal.

From my point of view, it’s not the destination that’s most important, but the journey you’re taking. As an SC I’ve learned much more from deals we lost due to unclear discovery than from deals we won with near-perfect execution. 

Try out these communication and negotiation techniques and let me know what you think. I wish you all a great disco!

Profile photo of Hakim BEN KHEMIS

About Hakim Ben Khemis

With more than 10 years experience in complex selling for the B2B SaaS market, Hakim has developed his expertise as a Solutions Consultant by providing valuable support and driving complex organizations forward through digital transformation. He works as a Senior Solutions Consultant within the FSI team at Pegasystems in France.

Unlock this content by joining the PreSales Leadership Collective! An exclusive community dedicated to PreSales leaders.
Read this content here ↗

As an SC and part of the sales team, I often face challenges when engaging with my clients and prospects in their buying journey — especially during the never-ending discovery phase. Discovery is a critical process that helps the PreSales team: 

  • Explore solutions with clients
  • Build trusting relationships
  • Identify variables that help AEs forecast accuracy

Unfortunately, each missing element of a discovery puts your deal at risk. 

I recently read a very exciting book called: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depends on It, by Chris Voss. I picked this book from the PreSales Collective reading list and was very intrigued by its title. 

Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), as well as the FBI’s hostage negotiations representative for the National Security Council’s Hostage Working Group. In 2008, he founded The Black Swan Group, which travels the globe to teach individuals, groups, and corporate teams how to listen and negotiate to achieve desirable outcomes.

In business we often deal with compromises in an attempt to move the needle in the right direction while staying in control. How can we use Voss’s negotiation tactics to guide our clients through discovery and along the desired path? 

Give Something to Get Something

This core principle of negotiation comes into play when we need to get buy-in from key stakeholders. We need a high level of commitment from our clients to properly execute and avoid wasted resources.

It could be for example:

  • Organizing a field workshop
  • Defining the requirement of a successful POC
  • Getting executives involved during an important meeting

The most important piece of advice that Voss gives is, “We don't need to perceive our counterpart in a conversation as our opponent, it is mostly the opposite: we have to see him/her as a partner with whom we need to find and secure an agreement that will be perceived as a win-win for both parties.”

A good relationship is based on trust, which is why we have to be seen as trusted advisors for our prospects and customers. Here’s how we can achieve that:

  • Credibility: Credibility is a crucial element in building trust, as it involves being seen as having expertise and knowledge in a particular area. It encompasses factors like honesty and transparency. 
  • Reliability: Reliability means you consistently deliver on your promises and commitments. Provide accurate and timely information, follow through on agreements, and be responsive to customer needs.
  • Intimacy: Intimacy as an SC means building a genuine connection and understanding. Taking the time to understand the customer’s unique needs, concerns, and preferences can create a sense of intimacy.

Once you gain trust, you and your customer can act as a partnership — with give and take on both sides.

7 Core Negotiation Principles for Discovery

The core principles that Voss offers will help to solidify a trusting relationship and are key to executing a good discovery:

1. Emotional Intelligence

Practice active listening and show empathy toward the client’s pain points and challenges. Understand and validate their feelings and concerns by actively engaging in the conversation.

2. Tactical Empathy

Put yourself in the customer’s shoes and offer your understanding about their pain points and how it impacts their goals. This will help to build trust and establish a two-way relationship.

3. Mirroring

Mirroring is the action of repetition by using the same words with a light, curious tone — which helps to get more information that a potential customer might be minimizing. Voss says, “Part of the messaging mirroring sends to the other person is, ‘I hear every word you said, and I’m proving it because I just repeated it bac to you.’” It will let the buyer know you want to create a sense of connection and rapport.

4. Labeling

Acknowledge a person’s concerns, challenges, and aspirations. Use labels to validate their feelings and show that you understand their perspective. For example, we can say, “It seems like you’re concerned about the lack of responsiveness of your team regarding market changes, which affects your time to market. Is that correct?”

5. Calibrated Questions

Ask open-ended questions like, “How does your current process impact your team’s ability to respond to demands in a timely manner?” This encourages the prospect to share more details about context and priorities, as well as their ability to meet SLAs.

6. Anchoring

Establish a reference point by highlighting the value and benefits of your solution early on in the conversation. This sets the tone for subsequent discussions and demonstrates your credibility quickly.

7. The Power of “No”

Use “no” strategically to gain more insights and push the customer to explore other perspectives — and help them feel more in control. With multiple “nos,” you can get a stronger “yes.” For example, ask, “Do you feel that you’re wasting your time identifying what’s blocking your teams from meeting their goals?” Chances are, the answer will be “no.” Follow up with, “If you want me to succeed in helping you and your team, is there any chance we can have two hours of your time to analyze your current processes?” I can assure you that you’ll get a resounding “yes!”

Assembling the Puzzle Pieces

Every discovery is unique, but they have some things in common:

  • Passion
  • Trust
  • Eagerness to resolve a complex situation

As you uncover more pieces of the customer’s puzzle, the full picture becomes clearer. And with a fuller picture, you can work together toward a common goal.

From my point of view, it’s not the destination that’s most important, but the journey you’re taking. As an SC I’ve learned much more from deals we lost due to unclear discovery than from deals we won with near-perfect execution. 

Try out these communication and negotiation techniques and let me know what you think. I wish you all a great disco!

Profile photo of Hakim BEN KHEMIS

About Hakim Ben Khemis

With more than 10 years experience in complex selling for the B2B SaaS market, Hakim has developed his expertise as a Solutions Consultant by providing valuable support and driving complex organizations forward through digital transformation. He works as a Senior Solutions Consultant within the FSI team at Pegasystems in France.

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